I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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