No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
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