how can u be prego again
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
