she woke up with a sticky ear
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
