i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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