I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
