I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
And then my night got REAL pukey
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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