Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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