dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
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I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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