Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
