So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
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She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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