theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
