I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
