Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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