I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
