she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
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I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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