I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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