But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
She announced her abortion via fbk
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
