don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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