What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
