you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
