Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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