yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Randomize
