Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize