I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
it was like eating out sand paper
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
