you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
