the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
