wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
