I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
