someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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