You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
