the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
