This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
