And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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