I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Someone came in the potted fern
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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