If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Randomize
