sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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