my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Randomize
