Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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