I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
