okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize