I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I need help removing her.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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