oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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