I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
