the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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