You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Randomize
