**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
