my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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