dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
