Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
