he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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