i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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