I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
