I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
It's just like the Real World with babies
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
