is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
