Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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