Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
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