a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
