Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
