...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
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